I’d like to publish a new “vow” from me to Stephanie, an updated version, if you will, of the O.G. Top 10 vow.
Here is the original:
Top Ten Reasons I asked Stephanie to be my wife:
#10 – Only requires good food, candy and sleep to be happy.
#9 – Is cheerful, but in a good way
#8 – Beats to her own drums
#7 – She is smarter than I am
#6 – She has pushed me to do things I would have never done but regretted not doing
#5 – She keeps me honest
#4 – She always thinks of me
#3 – She loves surprises
#2 – I couldn’t think of anyone else that I would want to be the mother of my children
#1 Even after 16 years of being together I still get tickled when she just walked into a room
I give you my commitment that from now until forever I will invest my energy, heart and absolute determination…
Into making my presence a refuge for you
Into taking actions in partnership
Into giving you space to grow and change
Into loving you like no one else
Into above all your happiness & well being
And here is the updated version. For after 15 years I think this needs saying…
Top Ten Reasons, I still want Stephanie to be my wife.
#10 – Has grown beyond good food, candy and sleep to be happy. She’s looking for fulfillment. But, good food, candy and sleep are still effective.
#9 – Is still cheerful in a good way.
#8 – Still beats to her own drum. What I meant by this is that Stephanie is an independent thinker and is unimpeded by what things “should be”.
#7 – Still smarter than I am. More than I thought then.
#6 – She pushes me to do things I wouldn’t have done all the time. I take less time to get onboard than I used to, but I still love that she pushes me. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without her. No chance.
#5 – Still keeps me honest. She keeps me honest with myself.
#4 – Still thinks of me. But what I meant by this is she’s always in my corner in spite of me being an a-hole sometimes.
#3 – She still loves surprises in a way that I don’t. But I love it. We often talk about maximizing the excitement around things. Sometimes this means knowing the plan, sometimes not. And I love it.
#2 – I still can’t imagine anyone else being the mother of my children. Partly because, we now have children, who are more amazing than I dreamt. But also because she’s an astounding mother. She’s got her eye on things that I don’t see and keeps things in balance.
#1 – Even after 15 years of marriage, I still get tickled when she walks into the room.
New Vows
I give you my commitment
To be true to you
To being open to you changing
To encourage your growth
To continue to listen, especially when I think I’m right
To support you through the very sad moments that will come
To pay attention
Stephanie, you have my respect, admiration and I promise to choose you always. You are the key to my happiness to the end. You have been and are still my best friend. I want you here, always.
Stephanie’s Vow Circa 2006
Cary
I love you for many things ~ for your honesty, your love and loyalty to your friends and family, your focus and intensity, for the strength of your beliefs and your desire to improve them, and for loving and understanding me and helping me grow. I love you because you consistently strive to do the right thing ~ not because you should or because it will make you look good, but because of your natural desire to do good by people. I know very few people who live this way everyday like you do and I fell very proud to becoming the wife of someone like that.
Not to say you are perfect! You definitely have some quicks (which I won’t go into here), but I love you for those as well.
And I promise to love you for the qualities you have and those that you do not. I promise to see you for the extraordinary person you are, even when you do not. I promise to say what there is to be said and not withhold from you, to love you when it’s easy and also when it’s difficult an to try and always be kind. I promise to create a home that celebrates respect, laughter, adventure and good food. And I promise to never, ever become a stranger to you.
You are my best friend, lover and partner. I love you and I’m so happy to becoming your wife.